HELD
I was broken, and you held me
Held my sorrow, my despair, my confusion, all of it
My pain, my loss, my grief, my desire to understand
You held me when I thought there was nothing left
You held me when I was beyond knowing there could be another moment
You held me in a way I never knew was possible
In that instant, when I looked out and saw you all, I was lifted up, I was reborn
A new man, really, a new person, time stopped, and began again
A death followed by a birth, so soon, so seamless a process, what wonder
How did you all do that, by what magic powers
It was always there, I did not see it, how could I not see it
Why did it take this for me to see it
Now I surely see it
It is love
I believe your exquisite poem is a mirror of your soul, Mathew. Love
Just got chills reading this. Chills of grace. Thank you for sharing a piece of your heart, your soul. With love, Cindy
…and the holding continues, does not stop……………..
We are still here.
What an exquisite expression of the circle of love. Unfortunately, many of us don’t express our deeper feelings to each other, in general. It takes a major event, a crisis to reveal them…….
Love you, Mathew
Jody
How deeply beautiful is this post dear Matthew.
Maybe it’s some magic, but I believe mostly it is huge LOVE, prayer, intention, and empathy coming from so many near and far ~ and none of that worth much without your openness to it, your willingness to let it in, the fierce grace and courage with which both you and Elise are riding these waves on the wake of Maya’s passage and sharing this heartbreaking journey with us.
Thank you for the connection, the community, the beautiful light in the darkest times.
Matthew – reading this from you on the darkest day – feeling the light within that continues to burn and warm – the holding continues – the community grieving that this sad event has brought forth continues to connect us – making life more fierce and more true. Thank you for writing it out . . .
Matthew, today was the first day I happened upon your blog and I want to thank you for your extraordinary honesty. As a man, and as a father of a 16 year old girl, it is rare to be privy to the depths of another man’s thoughts and feelings. Thank you, Matthew…I am with you, I hear you, and I understand. With Love
Dear Mathew,
I love being part of this circle that holds you so dearly and tenderly.
And as sorry as I am for this devastating loss, I love that you are being born anew,
heart ripped wide open and absorbing how loved and loving and lovable you are.
Thank you for sharing your pain and open heart with all of us. We are Here for you.
Susan
It was so precious to feel the love of friends as we all circled your house, hand in hand in the darkness, at shiva . . . as we stood together, eyes shut, I felt our energy, so palpable it could hold us up. That too is a gift, Mathew, that you and Elise, Adin and Maya, have given us all… remembering that we are supported by love.
Mathew
My words don’t really capture my response.
Thank You for sharing this deep, sensitive, honest, and open expression of your experience. We are all holding each other.
Love You!
Someone shared that you had a blog a few days ago, and I waited to be able to give it my whole mind.
Mathew, I am awed by your words… the honesty and the clarity are amazing. This poem is remarkable; I’m sure everyone who has read it has learned something about you, themselves and life as they read it. I see now that my fears of saying the wrong words to you are insignificant compared to letting you know that you and your family have been wrapped in my thoughts and my heart these many months. Thank you.