A Third Way

 

Dear Maya,

I had a beautiful awakening this morning that I wanted to share with you.  For so long I have been trying to find a way to be, without you here.  To assuage the loss, manage the pain.  I have been living in the absence of you, holding onto the memories and what we had together, knowing you are gone.

What I did not realize is that although you are not here, I still have you with me.  I carry you inside me everywhere.  It is so strange, my little one.  Yes, when I go to our old spots, I have lovely memories of you, and I miss you.  And when I go to new spots, I wish you were there with me.  But now I have a third option, a new way of carrying you with me.  

I realized that I can still take you with me, to the old spots and the new ones, and I can still experience them with you.  You are still here, my sidekick, in my heart, by my side, always…

Love you,

Dad

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