You tell me there is a greater plan, a higher power, more than I can see
But I cannot see it
So I am unsure
You tell me you dreamt of her, she came to you and told you a secret
But I do not understand, it does not fit
So I am baffled
You tell me it was not my fault, nothing I missed
But I still have doubts, I still wonder
So I suffer
You tell me to take it day by day, one step at a time
But it still hurts, it still hurts
So I want to hide
You tell me more will be revealed
But I want it all now, do not want to wait
So I am impatient
You tell me we were blessed with fifteen
But I still want more, I am desperate for more
So I am in pain
You tell me I was a great father
But always the doubts linger on
So I weep still
You tell me there is an unending love, an unending love
I know there is, finally I know it
I can feel it, I can see it, everywhere
Thank you for reminding me, dear one
Mathew, you are such a gifted, elegant, and communicative writer. I’m grateful for your words. I connect with them deeply.
This is so exquisitely painful, yet elicits my deepest compassion, arising from the feeling/healing place of my experience with young life lost. From my heart to yours. I am, and someday …… you’ll be ….. better, for having been broken wide open, Mathew and Elise. Difficult to explain with words, but true, nontheless. Blessings….. I am with you🙏
Mathew, thank you for your beautiful expression of what is so very difficult. We sang to you of the unending love on Saturday…I am glad you were there so we could wrap you in the piece of that unending love that comes through us, your friends, your community, those who hold pieces of the unending love of the beautiful Maya inside us…