Brief Candle


First, last, always, never
I continue to try to label that which defies labeling
I continue to try to understand that which defies understanding
The mind fails me, the reason avoids my grasp

You are sixteen today
Would be sixteen today
Would it be sweet
Language fails, over and over again it fails

My dear, brief candle
Still burning so fiercely, so brightly, but
But I cannot touch you, see you, hear you
The senses fail, primitive, useless

Yet you still burn
I cannot understand
I cannot speak
I cannot sense

Yet you still burn
Beyond knowing
Beyond words
Beyond perception

Is it just love now
Love beyond the mind, the tongue, the voice
Love beyond touch, taste and smell
Love beyond understanding

Dear one so far, yet right here
Precious girl, who lived life so fully, and so briefly
Tonight I will make your cake
Maya cake we called it

Do you remember that
Tonight we celebrate
Somehow we celebrate
Celebrate you, us, together still

Fifth Birthday

Moriello Pool, 2005


8 thoughts on “Brief Candle

  1. Dear Mathew,
    Your words are so beautiful, even as they carry with them your pain and your struggle to understand and to be in this unfamiliar (and yet now so familiar) territory. Somehow you will, you are, learning to be, to relate, to communicate on a level beyond these senses we are accustomed to. I am struggling myself to know how to let you know how much I care, the ways in which I share a very small part of your Journey. Maybe there is something here to learn from: even though you and I still walk on this planet in our bodies, our communication is on a level beyond the here, albeit we have words and computers and blogs to reach out with. Somehow I must believe that your energy and your thoughts are reaching our dear beloved girl.

    I send you my love.

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